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When I was honorably discharged back into the private sector, I had a real appreciation for the importance of safety. The army didn’t eliminate my fear of danger. It heightened it. Channeled it into a career focus.
Working for a safety auditor just sort of made sense, ya know?
I bounced around for a while. Worked for a civil engineering firm out of Philly, then another in West Virginia working on coal mining safety. That was a losing battle, so I got transferred back to Houston to focus on drilling. That’s where I met Cas, who was trying to get his butt out of the oil drilling industry on account of how dangerous it was. Rather than let him get out completely, I convinced him to come work for the same company as me helping make the industry safer.
It wasn’t long until we were moved up to an auditing group out of Fargo responsible for the drill sites out on the Bakken field. That’s where we met Jason and Kai, who were already auditing hydraulic fracking sites. That mess was real dangerous. Like the wild west, everyone only cared about grabbing as much gold as they could before the next guy could. Taking the time to set up a safe work site and train new employees on proper equipment etiquette? Nobody gave a snake’s tail worth of care about that. Safety literally kept them from making money. Which meant job managers had a lot of incentive to bribe the safety auditors to look the other way when a forklift driver wasn’t wearing their harness, or to pretend like the loose excess valve on a hydro-release pump wasn’t there.
The four of us did good work. We were all passionate about it, though I was probably on the extreme end. Fast forward four years and a bunch of promotions and we were as tight a group as anyone. Which was good. Otherwise our little job with Blackrock Energy here would’ve failed from the start.
So, yeah. I was a worrier. And right now? I was worried as all hell.
“You wanna what?” I said.
Jason twisted in the passenger seat to look back at me. “She works for Blackrock. Maybe we can glean some info.”
I tried to keep my voice calm. “The last thing we ought to be doing is revealing our intentions to someone at the company.”
“Bro, that’s not what I said. All I meant was we can learn a lot from her without her catching on. After a few beers, everyone talks.”
Cas laughed nervously. “You want to James Bond her? Seduce her and then go through her phone in the morning.”
“That’s also not what I said,” Jason grumbled. “You guys need to stop putting words in my mouth.”
“Then make the words that come out of your mouth less confusing.”
“I understood him,” Kai chimed in. His blocky German face bobbed up and down. “Lexa may have information. We can gather this information with subtle questioning. Then we will have the information.”
“Brilliant plan, Goebbels,” I said.
He pointed at finger at me. “Do not make this joke.”
I put my hands up in apology. I was letting myself get worked up by all this. It would be easier to relax if the others would focus on what we were supposed to be doing, rather than trying to pump it from our landlord.
“And even if I were planning on seducing her,” Jason added, “I don’t have to be the only one. We’ve got four opportunities, especially if we get another Candice situation.”
“How about we all focus on what we’re supposed to be doing, rather than complicating things?” Cas said.
“Took the words out of my mouth,” I said.
We pulled up to a row of condos that were tall and skinny. Lexa stood outside, wearing a tight black coat over her clothes. She was wearing heels, and her straight black hair was pulled up in a bun.
“Focusing will be difficult,” Kai said. “She is delicious, like a piece of chocolate cake.”
You know how when someone says not to think of a purple elephant, it’s instantly impossible to think of anything else? Admiring Lexa was like that. Her lips were a candy shade of red, and pursed together in a way that was half impatience, half curiosity. Her cheeks were full and rosy from the chill. Sharp eyebrows rose above equally sharp eyes that watched us like a woman who was ready to make a joke. And although the coat covered most of her body, it hugged her frame enough to show off round hips and a slender waist.
“Mmm mmm,” Kai said, smacking his lips.
“Don’t let Lexa distract you,” Cas said, and it almost sounded like he was telling himself rather than us.
As I got out of the car and she turned her smile onto me, I realized I had something new to worry about.
10
Lexa
I stood in the cold like a girl waiting for her date to show up. Which, if you squinted and ignored all the little details, was almost the truth. What Cas and I had done at the bar that night could totally be called a date.
I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since last night.
The smell of Cas, like cloves and spice, stuck to the inside of my nose long after he left my condo last night. I returned to binging old episodes of Friends on Netflix but couldn’t concentrate. I just kept thinking about his firm handshake, the callouses on his palms. His angular face, and the way his eyes seemed to devour all the light in the room and shoot it back out like clouds on a stormy day. And then I was letting my hand drift down into my lap, and spreading my legs and closing my eyes…
Yeah. Suffice to say, Cas was on my brain.
He pulled up to my condo in the same white Jeep as last night, with one major difference: there was a couch strapped to the top. I watched as they parked in front of me and all four of them hopped out.
“What’s with the couch?” I asked.
“Couch?” Kai, who was wearing another pair of denim overalls, pointed. “That is a futon.”
“Oh, futon. My mistake.” I arched an eyebrow. “What’s with the futon?”
Cas grinned as he came around the side of the Jeep. “We’ve got four guys and not enough beds.”
I began to ask how he knew how many beds I had, then stopped myself. Had I shown him around last night and forgotten all about it?
“Unless you’ve bought new furniture in the last two weeks,” Cas quickly added. “We found your Airbnb ad and looked at the photos.”
“Looks mighty nice,” said the guy with the accent country. He had an oval face and hair shaved close like a buzz cut, which was mostly dark but had bits of grey already, even though he couldn’t have been older than 40. He was as jacked as the others; the vein in his neck popped out as he approached me and stuck out his hand. “I’m Theo Matthews.”
“Call him Tex,” Cas said with a sly smile.
“You sounded like you’re from Texas,” I said.
This brought a series of snickers from the others. Kai had to look away, but his huge body shook with silent laughter. I looked between the men and asked, “What’s so funny?”
“It’s a joke,” Tex said with resignation. “I’m from Oklahoma, but we had a boss in Fargo who called me Tex on the first day.”
“And Tex here was too nice to correct him,” Cas said. “So now he’s Tex.”
I gave him a sorrowful look. “I’ll call you Theo if you want.”
“Nah, might as well call me Tex. I’ve kinda gotten used to it.”
“He’s a pushover,” said the fourth guy. “But that won’t stop him from complaining. I’m Jason.”
Jason had a round face and enough dark stubble to almost be called a beard. He wasn’t jacked the way Cas and Kai were, but I could tell he had lean muscle underneath his jacket. The glint of humor in his eyes and the rest of his joking demeanor reminded me of a frat guy, but not the douchey kind.
“That must make you Kai,” I said. The German had a blocky head and sharp, defined lips. The planes of his face were smooth and hard which, paired with his huge bulging size, made him very intimidating. But his smile brightened his face enough to wipe away any scariness.
“Ja, that’s me!” I squeaked with surprise as he wrapped me in a bear hug, crushing me into his broad chest. The denim from
his overalls pressed into my cheek.
“Kai’s a hugger,” Theo said. “Shoulda warned you.”
“She does not mind,” Kai said as he pulled away. He gave me a firm nod. “Everyone loves a Mendelssohn hug.”
“That was a pretty good hug,” I admitted, trying not to blush. He was as firm and hard as a brick wall. I imagined someone punching him in the gut and breaking their hand. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but is there a reason you wear overalls?”
“Don’t get us started,” Jason grumbled.
Kai pointed a meaty finger at my face. “Overalls are the perfect clothing item!”
“Here he goes…” Cas said.
“Material that is easily cleaned! Wonderfully comfortable! And enough room to maneuver, which is critical at a job site!” He flexed his thick arms to demonstrate.
“Easy there, Arnold,” Cas said with a nervous laugh. A jealous laugh, maybe? “How about we get this futon inside?”
Kai and Jason pulled the futon down from the roof of the Jeep and carried it inside. Both of them handled it with easy strength. When they reached the top of the stairs Kai lifted the back end high above his head and then rotated it to get around the corner. It weighed so little to him it might as well have been a box of paper towels.
“Holy shit,” Jason said. “This place rocks.”
“Much better than a hotel next to a dang casino,” Tex said. “I swear I can still hear slot machines ringing in my ears…”
Jason nudged Cas in the ribs. “And to think you didn’t want to rent this place.” Jason turned to me. “Not that Cas thinks you smell or anything. He was just weird about renting a stranger’s place.”
“I’ll happily admit I was wrong,” he said, locking eyes with me for a brief second.
I led them upstairs to the empty bedroom, then watched as they placed the futon against one wall. “Sorry for the lack of furnishings,” I said. “Feel free to hang up any posters or art or whatever.”
“I never minded plain walls,” Tex said.
“There’s another guest bedroom next door, which has a double bed,” I said. “But that still leaves two of you without a place to sleep.”
“We’re gunna buy some air mattresses to put in the bedroom downstairs,” Cas said. “So we’re good.”
I gave him half a smile. “You know, you could have put the futon in the bedroom downstairs rather than carrying it up two flights of stairs.”
All four of them looked dumbstruck for a second. It was adorable.
“Do not blame me,” Kai quickly said. “I am just the muscle!”
You’re all the muscle.
I showed them around the rest of the condo. The two bedrooms on this floor that were theirs, and the bathroom in the hall. I let them peek into my master bedroom, which I’d spent an hour last night cleaning so it was presentable. I even made the bed for the first time since it was on my chore sheet in middle school. But I didn’t mind, because having a reason to keep my place tidy was a good thing.
The rooftop deck was last. “It’s nicer in the spring,” I said, wrapping my coat around myself tighter. It didn’t help keep the wind off my face, though.
“I like the cold more than the heat,” Cas said. “After years in the Texas oil fields, this is paradise.”
“You’re welcome to come up here and freeze your toes off all you want,” I said. Only after the words were out of my mouth did I realize I was echoing last night’s text message: So can I come up or what? I’m freezing my toes off.
Kai checked the grill and nodded approvingly. “I will do much grilling here.”
I checked the time on my phone as we went back downstairs. “I’ve got to get back to work. Feel free to make yourselves at home. I’m not weird about personal space, so long as you don’t throw a kegger or anything.”
“Tex and I will walk with you,” Jason said. “Mr. Bryson should be setting up a conference room for us to work in.”
I smiled. “I set that up this morning. Room 149, first floor. He said you wouldn’t be there until tomorrow, though.”
We went single-file down the stairs to the first floor and back outside. “Yeah, well, we want to get an early start,” Tex said glancing at Jason. He nodded curtly.
“So you guys are gunna leave us to do the rest of the work?” Cas said. Kai slapped him on the shoulder.
“It will be fine. Come! I will carry the heaviest bags.” He reached into the Jeep and pulled out two huge suitcases, carrying one in each arm like they were buckets of water. “Thank you for opening your home to us, Lexa.”
“You’re welcome,” I said as he went inside. I walked over to the car and held out a single key. “This is the only spare I have.”
“I’ll make some copies,” Cas said. He lowered his voice. “Thanks again.”
By his tone he didn’t just mean giving them a place to rent for a few weeks. I nodded, said, “Sure thing,” and walked away before I could drown in his eyes.
We walked down the street in that awkward silence strangers often shared. We’d chatted a little bit, but not enough to be comfortable around each other. “Being able to walk to Blackrock is awesome,” Jason finally said.
“Helps me think in the mornings,” I said. “Gets the blood flowing. Not as fun in December, though.”
Jason shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. “I used to work job sites way out in the boonies. Drilling sites where there wasn’t a hotel within 100 miles. So I’d drive four, sometimes five hours in the morning, spend a few hours doing an audit, then drive another five hours home. That kind of work makes a guy hate sitting in a car.”
“Not to mention the danger,” Tex said.
I couldn’t see Jason’s face, but I could hear the eye-roll in his voice as he said, “Here we go…”
“I’m just sayin’. Drivin’ is dangerous. There are a heck of a lot of studies showing that people who drive an hour every day are 400 times more likely…”
“You’ll have to excuse Tex,” Jason interrupted. “This is sort of his thing.”
“Statistics don’t lie,” Tex said. “It’s a wonder you’re alive after all those years on the road.”
Jason leaned close to bump shoulders with me. “If you really want to get him worked up, tell him you’re afraid of flying.”
“Argh!” Tex said. “Flyin’s literally the safest form of travel. Thousands of times safer than gettin’ behind the wheel of a car. Being afraid of flying is an irrational phobia.”
“Told ya.”
It only took us a few minutes to walk to Blackrock. I had each of them stand against the white wall behind the reception desk and took their headshots with the computer webcam, then printed it on their temporary security badges. When Tex took off his coat I discovered his left arm was covered with a sleeve of tattoos: mostly animals, based on the glance I got.
“You’re all set. Welcome to Blackrock Energy!” I said with exaggerated enthusiasm.
Jason’s smile was forced. There was a fire in his eyes that took me aback. Like I’d said something offensive.
“Show us where the conference room is?” Tex asked.
I wondered what Jason’s deal was as I led them to the room.
11
Jason
I hated this fucking place.
To a security auditor in our industry, it was like walking into Mordor. All black glass on the outside and a deceptively friendly lobby with lots of natural light and green plants. Giving the illusion of a company that actually cared about its employees.
I couldn’t wait to take them down.
“They’ll be here with all the records in a few,” Lexa said. “If you need anything else, just call.”
The moment Lexa left us in the conference room, I closed the door and said, “I get angry just walking into this fucken building.”
“You hide it well,” Tex mumbled.
“I can do without the sarcasm, bro.”
“Just sayin’. We have to be careful with appearances.” Te
x lowered his voice. “And even more careful about what we say out loud.”
He was so damn paranoid sometimes. It pissed me off. While I was angry, the last thing I wanted to get was a lecture about caution.
But it was a good point. We had to watch what we said around here. I pushed aside my anger and nodded.
They made us wait 10 minutes before there was finally a knock on the door. A woman who looked like every stereotypical librarian I’d ever seen poked her head inside. “You boys the auditors?”
“Yes ma’am,” Tex said.
“Great.” She carried a single box into the room and placed it on the table. “Don’t know why Mr. Bryson ordered another audit so soon after the last, but we’ll do our best to give you what you need.”
Because Mr. Bryson is trying to cover his ass before he gets in more legal trouble. Out loud, I said, “That’s not too bad. More condensed than most places we audit.”
The woman gave a laugh. An insulting laugh. “This is just the first box. I’ll be back with enough paper to sink the Titanic.”
She wasn’t joking: she made the next trip with a dolly carrying three boxes stacked on top of one another, then six more trips. By the time she was done I could barely see the surface of the table.
“Alright, that’s all of it,” she said. “From the year to date, that is. When you’re ready for the 2017 records I’ll bring those.”
“Thanks for your help,” I said, unable to keep the unhappiness from my voice. She gave me a too-sweet smile and closed the door.
Tex and I looked at each other. “Death by paper,” he said.
“Always a sure sign of innocence.”
These days, most audits began with a quote for work: based on the company size and the scale of the audit, the auditing team would quote how many hours of work they estimated would be required, and then a contract would be signed for that amount of billable hours. This left one flaw: auditing teams had an incentive to finish the job under the billed hours, because any work done beyond that was wasted profit. Nobody wanted to do 400 hours of work and then only get paid for 200.